Engaging With NLP Coaching & Training Can Shift Perspective Fast
Engaging with NLP Coaching can deliver a rapid change of perspective. This feels surprising when you first experience it. Actually, unlike standard life coaching, the language tools, questioning techniques and emotional release tools work rapidly and deeply to re-frame our mindset. This is especially true when working Timeline Therapy(TM) techniques.
NLP Coaching is quite specific in the range of conversational techniques and practical techniques it uses to facilitate new awareness in the client. Therefore, when engaging in NLP coaching or training (as a client or trainee) I want to remind you of 3 key things.
Sometimes, when are suddenly able to see, think and feel beyond a previously limited perspective, we notice that we could have handled a situation differently. That is to say, we discover that our approach may also have contributed to the problem.
Unsurprisingly, this awareness can trigger feelings of judgement, regret, anger and other unhelpful emotions. So, it’s important to look at the bigger picture. Here are 3 reminders you can use to limit that leap into judgement and continue on your journey to worthiness, confidence and empowerment.
Reminder #1: We Are Always Doing The Best We Can With The Resources We Have Available At Any Given Time
The experiences we have in our childhood, often before the age of 10, shape our adult life. Specifically, these experiences drive the formation of our core values, our belief system, and the lens through which we view the world.
Let’s say, for example, that we create a belief regarding a specific situation when we’re 5 years old. We’re only operating from the experience of 5 years of life. That is to say, our view of adults, our parents, fear and everything else that is entirely different to the experience we my have at 25 years old.
It’s common when we work with emotional release and belief re-framing to have a moment of rapid expansion or enlightenment. Sometimes, a side-effect of that dramatically different perspective is an idea that we could have or ‘should have’ done things differently on other occasions.
When engaging with NLP coaching and training, the best way to use this perspective is to know that we can operate differently NOW. That ability, in itself, is powerful. Therefore, to criticise or judge our performance, prior to working on a particular issue, is futile and can be deeply unhelpful.
Reminder #2: Perfection Is An Illusion & Acceptance Is The Way To Smash It
There’s no such this as perfection. Honestly, it’s a fantastical ideal that so many of us aim for. Furthermore, it’s always subjective. That is to say, nobody can tell you what’s right, best or most appropriate for you. You’re the only one who knows. Besides, the right criteria for anything in your life will be different to that of the person you sit next to at work, share your blood with, or share your mode of transport to work with.
Personally, I enjoy the Japanese view of perfection. When they look at cherry blossom or ‘sakura’ (桜 or 櫻; さくら) they appreciate the perfection it holds is momentary. As a rule, perfect cannot be something we work towards, it’s the fleeting present moment where everything aligns. Moreover, mother nature continues to teach us that everything is always in flow, ever-moving and never stuck.
Perhaps we can think of perfection as a stuck state. When we want to activate the state, we can look at it as ‘what’s appropriate for me right now?. If we align ourselves with what feels right for us now, what’s appropriate for each of us right now, we’ll find more of those momentary perfections!
In fact, when we are under the perfection illusion, we’re merely operating the unconscious programme of “I’m not worthy as I am, or I’m not good enough as I am”. By accepting ourselves, just as we are right now, we open up the possibility of smashing illusions of perfection and control. We being to operate the unconscious programme of ACCEPTANCE.
Use My Morning Rantra To Work Your Way Towards Acceptance
Reminder #3: Our Desires Want To Be Framed Around That Which We Can Impact
When we look to others for approval or we seek to find our self-worth in the words of our peers, colleagues, friends or loved ones we put our power in the hands of others.
In essence, we run the risk of denying the beauty of our uniqueness and framing ourselves within the limits of the perception of others. In the long run, this can only serve to restrict our potential. Truly, we have no control over how what others believe or how they react to us.
What’s more, self-esteem, self-worth and confidence can only be created or destroyed inside ourselves. We are the only people who have power over this process.
When we relate to others, our primary focus wants to be “what do I want to achieve from this connection?” If we work towards achieving this, and this only, we empower ourselves to forge our path on our terms.
STOP looking outside for what you can create within.
Engaging in NLP Coaching Requires We Honour The Relationship We Have With Ourselves
Having a good relationship with self is one of the most useful intentions we can have.
The relationship we have with ourselves is fundamentally connected to the relationships we have with everything and everyone else in life. The way we relate to and manage our own identity influences romantic partnerships, friendships, and business relationships.
Thus, it’s a good idea to practice being kind to ourselves. The words we use to communicate with self inside our minds are the main contributing factors to living a peaceful life, boosting self-esteem and finding balance.
Naturally, this type of self-nurturing begins the journey towards self-acceptance. However, true self-acceptance takes time and patience. Even though finding self-acceptance is one of the greatest challenges we face in this life, it’s worth the work. Moreover, liberation from self-judgement and criticism allows us the freedom to connect, trust and love others. In turn, this gives us the personal freedom of being able to give without requirement of receipt.
Use These Reminders With Purpose When Engaging With NLP Coaching
Whether you’re already engaged in coaching, or you’re about to start engaging with NLP coaching or training, keep these reminders at the forefront of your awareness. It’s easier to judge yourself harshly than it is to accept yourself. Effectively, we’ve been taught to judge and we run judgement as an unconscious programme.
#1 We Are Always Doing The Best We Can With The Resources We Have Available At Any Given Time
#2: Perfection Is An Illusion & Acceptance Is The Way To Smash It
#3: Our Desires Want To Be Framed Around That Which We Can Impact
To accept yourself just as you are, it’s important to understand exactly what you’re accepting. Namely, the mistake that so many of us make early in our adult lives is forgetting to truly identify what’s right for us. We identify what we think SHOULD be right for us and act upon that blueprint when we work to build relationships with others.
Moreover, it’s a ‘chicken and egg’ situation. Actually, until we find a real sense of self-acceptance, it can be tricky to stand up for what’s right for us, nourish ourselves and operate from the firm foundation that any strong, lasting relationship benefits from.
So, the biggest gift you can give yourself is to identify what you want and what you like and go out there and find it. If you can learn to nourish yourself, you’ll find REAL empowerment. What’s more, you’re the only one who truly can.
Everyone else is just the icing on the cake!
Find Out More & Work With Me
If you’d like to find out more about coaching with me, or if you’d like to arrange a call to see if we’re a good fit for one another, please send me an email to sarah@sarahmerron.com.
You can book coaching online here.
If you’re interested in group training and coaching, you can check out my Farcical Life Programmes here.
