Embracing Boundaries: The Power of Filling Your Own Space
In our mind-wandering, embracing boundaries (or asserting them) often takes centre stage as an essential tool for self-care and well-being. Frequently, we’re encouraged to assert our boundaries firmly, almost defensively, to protect ourselves from perceived threats or intrusions. But what if there’s another way?
What if, instead of erecting barriers, we focus on filling our own space with self-confidence, positivity, joy, and purpose? Let’s explore the transformative power of filling your own space and how it redefines the concept of boundaries.
What "Filling Your Own Space" Is And Is Not?
Just for a moment, imagine a time when you felt completely fulfilled, you know, ‘on top of the world’. Now embody that feeling – drop right down into that event, see what you saw, hear what you heard and feel the feelings you felt, bringing all that into now. Good.
Is there any aspect of you that feels vulnerable? Probably not. Your space is filled.
The question we want to ask ourselves is “What triggers that ‘space-filled feeling’ for me?” Was it achievement, relaxation, peace, laughter, something else, or all of the above? Only you can know.
There are, of course, some behaviours that lead us towards the potential of feeling that ‘space-filled feeling’, and they could be activities such as:
- Setting boundaries with technology by scheduling digital detox periods.
- Saying “no” to commitments that don’t align with your values and priorities.
- Choosing positive affirmations and self-talk to boost inner encouragement.
- Engaging in hobbies and activities that bring you joy and purpose and indulging in your guilty pleasures!
- Cultivating supportive and uplifting relationships.
An Obvious Caveat
Obviously, “filling your space” doesn’t mean ignoring external issues. It’s useful to acknowledge that assertive communication might still be necessary for situations of disrespect or violation. However, there’s a key difference between preparing for or EXPECTING disrespect or violation and experiencing it in the moment. The former stems from a limiting belief and the latter from being present in the moment and addressing things head-on.
When Assertive Communication Becomes Important
You’ll know when you want to act on feelings of boundary violation either as someone is approaching your boundaries or after they cross them. In these instances, it’s reasonable to frame assertive communication as a form of self-respect and self-care, ensuring your needs are heard and protected. You can do this by:
- Setting clear boundaries with someone repeatedly disregarding your needs.
- Addressing toxic or manipulative behaviour directly.
- Advocating for yourself in situations of discrimination or unfair treatment.
While assertive communication remains crucial in certain situations, it’s important to recognise that assertiveness often stems from a reactive stance, responding to external negativity. By contrast, the concept of “filling your space” encourages a proactive approach, focusing on cultivating inner positivity that naturally repels negativity. This shift in perspective is what redefines boundaries from building walls to nurturing a vibrant inner shrine.
Refining Boundaries
When we talk about boundaries, the common narrative revolves around assertiveness and guarding against external influences.
What if boundaries weren’t about keeping others out, and more about nurturing our inner sanctum?
By filling our space with optimism, confidence, purpose, and laughter, we create a magnetic force field that repels negativity and unwanted energies.
This shift in perspective challenges the notion that boundaries must be asserted aggressively and suggests that by cultivating a positive internal landscape, we naturally repel anything that doesn’t align with our intention or energy.
The Fallacy of Assertiveness
The belief that we must assert our boundaries to protect ourselves implies a fundamental fear – the fear that something outside of us poses a threat to our well-being.
What could happen if we viewed the world through a different lens? Perhaps if we approached life with the understanding that we are powerful beings, capable of creating our reality through the direction of our thoughts and intentions?
Asserting boundaries from a place of fear or defensiveness perpetuates the belief that we are vulnerable and powerless against external forces. Whereas, by filling our space with confidence, purpose, and happiness, we transcend this limiting belief and embody a state of empowerment and resilience.
Becoming Teflon
Imagine if unwanted events and negative energies simply slid off our energy field like water off a duck’s back. What would it take to cultivate such a state of imperviousness? The answer lies in filling our space with the highest vibrations possible. When we immerse ourselves in joy, purpose, and laughter, we raise our energetic frequency to a level where lower vibrations simply cannot penetrate.
Like Teflon, our energy becomes slippery and non-stick, repelling anything that doesn’t serve our highest good. This isn’t about being impervious to life’s challenges; it’s about cultivating a resilient mindset that allows us to navigate obstacles with grace and ease.
Exploring Inner Safety
At the core of boundary-setting lies a quest for inner safety and security. When we feel the need to assert our separateness, it’s often because we perceive a threat to our well-being, whether real or imagined. But what if the true source of safety resided within us all along?
By turning inward and examining our fears and insecurities, we uncover the root causes of our boundary issues.
- What are we truly afraid of?
- What unwanted beliefs are we holding onto that perpetuate feelings of vulnerability?
When we shine a light on these shadowy corners of our psyche, we can recognise that true safety comes from within.
Releasing Expectations
Asserting boundaries can sometimes stem from a place of expectation – the expectation that others will respect our needs and boundaries without us having to express them. But what if we released these expectations and embraced radical self-responsibility instead? What if we took ownership of our needs and desires and communicated them clearly, without attachment to how others respond?
Try relinquishing the need for external validation or approval, and free yourself from expecting the worst possible outcome. Instead, trust your ability to create healthy boundaries that honour your truth and empower others to do the same.
Dare To Strengthen Your force field
Dare to fill your space with joy, purpose, and laughter, and watch as the world responds in kind. You are the master of your reality – embrace it fully and unapologetically. Engage in activities that nourish your mind, body, and soul, whether it’s meditation, journaling, or spending time in nature.
We can’t change the external. We CAN change ourselves internally and, in doing so, create more coherence in our inner and outer reality.
Work With Me To Fill Your Own Space
Are you ready to fill your space and create your forcefield? Get in touch if you want to engage with my Primal Integrity™ NLP & Time Line Therapy® Coaching & Training.
