Instant gratification may offer short-term benefits however, if we give into our desires to feel the ‘hit’ of getting what we want fast, it can also lead to a lack of patience, diminished resilience, and an inability to sustain efforts toward long-term goals. Instant gratification is a weapon of self-destruction. It kills your motivation, relationships and sense of self-esteem.
If you recognise any of the behaviours associated with instant gratification, cited below, you might want to ask yourself what’s driving the need to have everything NOW. When you know, you can make a plan to release the urge.
Why Might We Want To Resist Instant Gratification?
Instant gratification, while appealing in the moment, can be an unhelpful way to train our brain for several reasons.
Reckless Behaviour
- It creates a habit of impulsivity and a lack of self-control.
- This behaviour can lead to a disregard for long-term consequences and impact.
- It can undermine the development of patience and appreciation for long term achievement, hindering personal growth, goal attainment, and overall success.
Diminishing Emotional Resilience
- By consistently seeking immediate pleasure or distraction, we may avoid dealing with uncomfortable emotions, leading to an inability to cope effectively with stress or setbacks.
- Learning to tolerate and process challenging emotions is essential for emotional well-being and mental resilience.
Short Attention Span
- Instant gratification contributes to shallow engagement and a diminished attention span.
- The constant availability of quick and easily accessible sources of entertainment or information leads to a preference for a quick fix.
- Building the quick fix habit creates an inability to maintain focus on more complex or demanding tasks.
- This behaviour can hinder creativity, critical thinking, and deep learning.
Poor Interpersonal Relationships
- Expecting immediate responses or quick fixes can lead to impatience and a lack of understanding of others’ needs and perspectives.
- Building meaningful connections and resolving conflicts requires patience, empathy, and the ability to delay immediate gratification to gain long-term relationship satisfaction.
What Behaviours Are Associated With Instant Gratification
Addictive Behaviours
- Impulsive buying: Making spontaneous purchases without considering long-term consequences on financial stability.
- Overeating: Indulging in unhealthy or excessive food consumption unconsciously or for the immediate sensations of pleasure.
- Gambling: Participating in games of chance or betting activities for the immediate thrill of potential winnings.
- Social media addiction: Constantly seeking instant validation and likes on social media platforms through posting, sharing, and seeking immediate feedback.
- Substance abuse: Engaging in substance use to experience immediate euphoria or escape.
Distraction Behaviours
- Procrastination: Delaying important tasks in favour of immediate enjoyment or leisure activities.
- Excessive screen time: Spending excessive amounts of time on electronic devices, such as smartphones or gaming consoles, for instant entertainment.
Risky Behaviours
- Engaging in dangerous activities that provide an immediate adrenaline rush, such as extreme sports or reckless driving.
Unhealthy Behaviours In Relationships
- Seeking attention: Displaying attention-seeking behaviours to gain immediate validation or recognition from others.
- Instant gratification in relationships: Pursuing short-term romantic or sexual encounters for immediate pleasure without considering long-term commitments or emotional consequences.
All of these behaviours cultivate feelings of impatience, a lack of commitment, unemotional and superficial connections, unrealistic expectations, and a lack of communication.
How Did We Get Here?
Many aspects of modern society can exacerbate these emotions as the convenience lifestyle becomes more prevalent across the globe. From developments in technology to the ‘always contactable’ culture, the pace of life today trains us to want even more instant gratification.
Technological Advancements
The rapid development of technology, particularly in the digital realm, has provided instant access to information, communication, and entertainment. The convenience and speed of modern technology have conditioned individuals to expect immediate responses, instant gratification, and quick results in various aspects of life.
Consumer Culture
Advertising and marketing strategies often promote instant gratification by emphasising the immediate benefits and pleasures of products or services. The culture of consumerism encourages the idea that acquiring material possessions or experiences can bring instant temporary happiness and fulfillment, encouraging a desire for immediate gratification.
Social Media & Digital Platforms
Social media platforms and online experiences have created a culture of instant validation and feedback, reinforcing the need for instant recognition and approval.
On-Demand Services
The rise of on-demand services, such as food delivery, streaming platforms, and ride-sharing, caters to the desire for instant convenience and immediate access. These services eliminate the need for waiting or delayed gratification, further reinforcing the expectation of instant fulfillment.
Fast-Paced Lifestyles
Modern society’s fast-paced nature, with its emphasis on productivity, efficiency, and instant results, has contributed to a diminished tolerance for delays or prolonged efforts. The pressure to accomplish more in less time can fuel a preference for instant gratification and a reduced ability to delay gratification for long-term goals.
Instant Communication
The advent of instant messaging apps, social media messaging, and email has enabled immediate and constant communication. This expectation for instant responses and immediate connectivity can lead to a sense of urgency and impatience in interpersonal interactions.
Since we can’t go back in time, having an awareness of the impact of each of these factors on our mindset allows us to choose how we engage with them. The simple fact is we can set our own boundaries to minimise our engagement with and reaction to these aspects of modern society.
What Emotions Contribute To The Desire For Instant Gratification?
The emotions involved in a need for instant gratification are complex and can vary in intensity and individual experiences. Instant gratification may provide temporary relief, it can exacerbate the underlying causes of these negative emotions.
Frustration: Feeling annoyed, irritated, or agitated, leading to seeking immediate relief or distraction.
Boredom: Experiencing a lack of interest or stimulation, prompting a desire for immediate entertainment or engagement.
Anxiety: Feeling restless, nervous, or worried, leading to seeking immediate comfort or distraction from anxious thoughts.
Impatience: Experiencing a lack of tolerance for delays or waiting, resulting in a need for immediate resolution or satisfaction.
Loneliness: Feeling isolated or disconnected, driving a desire for immediate social interaction or attention.
Stress: Experiencing pressure or tension, leading to seeking immediate relief or escape from stressful situations.
Anger: Feeling intense frustration or rage, resulting in a need for immediate release or venting of emotions.
Low self-esteem: Having a negative perception of oneself, seeking immediate validation or approval from others.
Depression: Experiencing feelings of sadness, emptiness, or hopelessness, driving a need for immediate distractions or mood elevation.
Restlessness: Feeling a sense of unease or dissatisfaction, leading to a need for immediate change or stimulation.
Addressing Unresolved Fear & Shame To Balance A Need For Instant Gratification
Fear Or Terror In Childhood
During our crucial developmental years, unresolved experiences of fear in childhood can have a profound impact on an individual’s psychological and emotional well-being.
When a child experiences intense fear or trauma that remains unresolved or unaddressed, it can leave deep imprints on their psyche. These unresolved terrors can create a heightened sense of anxiety, hypervigilance, and a persistent need for immediate relief or distraction from the distressing emotions associated with the past trauma.
Seeking instant gratification becomes a way to temporarily escape or numb the painful memories and emotions linked to the unresolved terror. The pursuit of immediate pleasure or distraction provides a fleeting sense of relief and control, serving as a coping mechanism to temporarily alleviate the underlying fear and discomfort.
Shame In Childhood
Unresolved shame from childhood experiences can also have a profound impact on our emotional and psychological development. When a child experiences shame-inducing events or situations that are not adequately addressed or resolved, it can lead to deep-seated feelings of unworthiness, self-doubt, and a persistent need for instant gratification. Unresolved shame can manifest as an intense fear of judgement, rejection, or humiliation, which drives a constant desire to seek immediate validation, acceptance, or distraction from the underlying feelings of shame.
Engaging in instant gratification becomes a way to momentarily escape the painful and uncomfortable emotions associated with shame. The pursuit of immediate pleasure, achievements, or attention-seeking behaviors provides a temporary sense of relief and validation, temporarily masking the deep-seated shame.
These feelings require introspection, self-compassion, and support to address and transform the core beliefs and self-perceptions that perpetuate the need for instant gratification.
Find Out More About Working With Me
If you’d like to balance your relationship with instant and delayed gratification, cultivating are more enjoyable and peaceful life experience, get in touch at info@sarahmerron.com to start your journey to balance and freedom.
