Once We Categorise Negative Feelings We Create Depression As A Stuck State
The WHO website [1] states that “depression is a common mental disorder affecting almost 264 million people, of all ages, globally. That’s pretty significant. However, are ALL cases of what we term as ‘depression’ really a stuck state?
Personally, I don’t align with the idea of a permanent state of depression. For me, an emotion is energy. Energy cannot be created or destroyed and it just transforms. I believe that our emotional energy is nearly always in motion. In no way am I diminishing feelings of depression. I’m asking you to consider mobilising the abstract noun and thinking about low energy or negative feelings as energy in motion. Something we can transform, in the majority of cases. Our ability to transform or flow these emotions depends on our understanding and awareness about more of the variables that can trigger them.
Let’s Look At Depression A Different Way
If we consider emotions as energy in motion, then part of the experience of dark feelings is also the experience of light or joyful feelings. Moreover, if we look at the complete experience as a cycle, circle or sphere, there are many emotions on the way from dark to light and vice versa.
If we stop saying “I’m depressed”, which is a stuck state, and begin to frame our experience as “feeling right now”, can be engender the shift into a slightly better feeling?
Types of Depression
This article [2] on the Healthline website categorises depression in nine different ways. If you’re feeling negative thoughts and you want a greater insight into what you may be experiencing, you can read more here.
The nine types of depression are:
- Major depression
- Persistent depression
- Manic depression
- Depressive psychosis
- Perinatal depression
- Premenstrual dysphoric disorder (PMDD)
- Seasonal depression
- Situational depression
- Atypical depression
Physical Activities To Help Ease Depression
- Walking
- Swimming
- Yoga
- Gardening
- Taking a bath
- Cooking
- Games
- Chores
Foods To Help Ease Depression
- Fish
- Nuts
- Beans
- Seeds
- Poultry
- Folates (Green leafy Vegetables)
- Probiotics
How Our Doing Mode Can Make Us Feel As If Depression Is A Stuck State
You have a big and beautiful brain. It has enormous capability and a plethora of functions. The one we’re interested in right now is the giant compare and contrast machine that supports us getting things done.
The machine works like this:
1) Where am I now?
2) Where should, ought, must be or (much nicer for us) where do I want to be?
3) What’s the gap and how do I reduce and remove that gap?
4) Take action.
5) Keep assessing the gap. Take further action.
It’s pretty simple and it works well for us. So how can something so simple cause a problem? If we’re always in doing mode, we’re always in compare and contrast mode and we’re always aware of a gap somewhere.
The Never-Ending To-Do List
You know the feeling of the never-ending list, the work that can’t be left at work or the overwhelm of ‘so much to do’? Yes, you got it, we’re stuck in doing modality and we’re unable to enjoy just being in the present moment because our doing modality keeps gatecrashing the party. You can almost feel the stress building as you picture it, can’t you? Moreover, when we’re constantly focused on the fact that there’s a gap, in addition to the “got to keep moving” stress mindset we also have negative emotions, which may involve disappointment, sadness, loss or a consistent reduction in our self-worth.
To clarify, in the external world, our doing modality can be a gift that keeps on giving. Whether we use it to go to solve quadratic equations, complete our household chores or write a book. We’re less emotional in our external world. So, if our actions prove fruitless, or we cannot solve a problem, we give up and move on to complete the next task. No big deal.
How Does Doing Mode Relate To Depression Or Anxiety?
Specifically, the problem occurs when we use the doing mode to solve problems it might not be able to solve.
Rather than moving on, as we might with an external task, we are unable to disconnect. This poses no challenge when everything in our world is going smoothly. However, if we experience some kind of traumatic event, we find it hard to let go and move on.
We continue to dwell on the situation and our feelings, unconsciously running an increasing number of potential solutions to how we could solve it, moving further away from the actual solution, which is FEELING the feeling itself. This is the path towards depression and anxiety.
The more we are aware of the gap or problem, the more we believe it’s there. The more we believe it’s there, the more challenging it is to release.
Can We Unstick Depression By Taking A Different Approach?
I wonder if we can offer more support to people who are struggling with thoughts of sadness, loss, isolation and grief a different perspective to aid their movement towards better feelings.
Before we encourage people to reach for a pharmaceutical solution (or an alcoholic one!), perhaps we can acknowledge that nearly every single one of us has experienced dark thoughts, dark days and moments where we weren’t sure if we wanted to wake up the next day.
Maybe if those of us that have experienced these things can share with others that the emotional flow is always actually moving, it’s always in motion. And rather than putting a label of depression on something and trapping the idea of it in a stuck state, (which often leads to a need to fix it), can we take a different approach?
E-Motion Is Energy In Motion
Can we lead others to realise that extreme darkness is part of the same cycle of flow as extreme light?
We rarely find ourselves at either polar opposite, however, when we do, in reality, we are rarely at either point for very long. When you last felt true elation or ecstasy did you hold onto that feeling for weeks or moments? Feelings and thoughts at the opposite end of the circle behave in the same way, in fact, all feelings behave in the same way.
More useful still is the awareness that there are literally hundreds of feelings in between each polar opposite on the circle. Ideally, find stability in feeling okay is a useful goal. Feeling okay is balanced, peaceful, a foundation from which to create.
Support Throught Connection
Even though women may be prone to more frequent ‘hormone-related’ darker moments, these feelings are in no way gender-specific.
So, rather than labelling and taking the fix-it approach, perhaps we can share with others the techniques we’ve used to keep our emotions in-flow.
Potentially knowing that someone else has been there too is just enough to diminish feelings of isolation.
Perhaps knowing that certain foods can support us in shifting hormonal-related darkness can help.
Conceivably, knowing that it’s normal, rather than different, to have these feelings is enough to keep that flow in motion.
Maybe helping another to realise that those feelings are not ALWAYS present, and it just seems that way because their concerns and focus are spotlighting the issue.
Perhaps we can help people see that just by changing their inner monologue and focus towards where they want to be, we can support them to stay in momentum.
Let’s support through connection, acceptance and momentum.
Sometimes We All Need Help
If you’re experiencing dark moods, negative thoughts or feelings of sadness for periods of more than two weeks it’s important to seek help. Speak with a friend and visit your doctor to get support and help you find a solution. Help is always available so make use of it. With help and support, things can only get better!
Would You Like To Try A Free Tool To Support You In Releasing Negative Thoughts?
Find Out More About Working With Me
If you’d like to find out more about coaching with me, or if you’d like to arrange a call to see if we’re a good fit for one another, please send me an email to sarah@sarahmerron.com.
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References For Article: Is Depression Really A Stuck State?
[1] https://www.who.int/news-room/fact-sheets/detail/depression
[2] https://www.healthline.com/health/types-of-depression
