For the last couple of weeks my mind has been preoccupied by thoughts with ‘mindfulness’ and ‘flow’, in relationship to happiness.The idea of mindfulness is everywhere in the world today. However, I question whether moving from mindfulness to mindlessness needs a stretch.
Needless to say, since we tend to get what we focus on, I have been presented with numerous opportunities to actively observe these concepts in myself, and in those around me.
Only When We’re Ready Do We Experience
I’m sure you’ve had the experience where you’ve bought a book and never been able to read it (or didn’t even start it) until years later. Then you pick it up and devour it in hours as you think to yourself “This is brilliant, why didn’t I do this before?” Or you read a book for the second or third time and you think the story has a different meaning or is perhaps much deeper in meaning than you noticed before.
How does this happen? I think it’s a matter of timing or readiness. Sometimes our higher consciousness or higher self knows that something is of value and yet our conscious mind is not yet ready to receive it. And the same scenario can repeat with films, people, articles, concepts and even exercise. We are not always ready for yoga or mindfulness; even when we think we are.
“You can ask the universe for all the signs you want, but ultimately, we see what we want to see when we’re ready to see it.” We thank the writers of “How I met your mother” for this one. Yes, really.
We can find learning in every experience ... even if it takes time
If you choose to engage with Pinterest or Instagram there are hundreds of opportunities to see how people use the term ‘Mindfulness’. Actually, it’s got me thinking. Twenty years ago when I first decided I wanted to learn about the idea of mindfulness I had absolutely no idea what it was.
The dictionary states the definition of Mindfulness to be “the state or quality of being mindful or aware of something.” or “a technique in which one focuses one’s full attention only on the present, experiencing thoughts, feelings, and sensations but not judging them.” Ambiguous or what?
I Shall Master Mindfulness!
I chuckle now when I think of my attempts at mindfulness. I approached it like a job. That’s right, I decided I was going to learn how to do Mindfulness, no matter what. Hence, I started to read books, then I read articles, after that I listened to Gurus, studied hard, then I researched Buddhism. Honestly, I was still confused and I didn’t really get it. “Mindful people do yoga Sarah” I’d say to myself.
Truly, I didn’t enjoy yoga. In fact, it took me 15 years to find a type of yoga that I actually enjoyed. That is to say, a type of yoga that actually stopped my mind from permanently complaining to myself about the fact I was doing yoga. My mind would ramble, “it was boring, it was pointless, it wasn’t a workout, I didn’t feel the benefit, was I wasting my time, my body was cold”, and so much more! Mmm, not very mindful. Then I discovered Bikram.
Bikram Yoga – A Bridge To My Mind
Bikram Yoga (frowned upon by so many), I found physically challenging enough to focus me only on the here and now. There was no space in my mind to judge how well I was doing a pose or to compare myself to the fabulous yogi practising next to me. Actually, just finishing the class was challenging enough.
In fact, some days it was too much and I had to sit down for some of the positions. It helped me to raise my awareness of how my body and mind were feeling on that specific day, in that specific moment. And, guess what? When I did it, I felt happy. After just a few weeks of disciplined practice, I saw and felt the difference. Before I went, during the class and afterwards, I felt happy.
This feeling of happiness and achievement continued for a couple of years as I began to know my body better and stretch it into positions I’d never reached before. Then, as the positions came easier, I realise with hindsight I was tip toeing on the edge of “Mindlessness.” My awareness of ‘what’ I was doing physically was allowing mindfulness to stretch into mindlessness.
The Last Samurai - Mindfulness To Mindlessness Needs a stretch
I love this film clip with Tom Cruise in his role as Nathan Algren in “The Last Samurai”. The scene reminds me what it means to be in the present moment and the benefits of taking the time to prepare for it. Actually, how we can, just for now, put ourselves in a judgment-free bubble, allowing the present moment of what’s happening to flow freely through our mind without paying any attention to anything else. Moreover, how we make use of habits learned through discipline and practice.
Actually, mindfulness is when we are present and aware of our thoughts. To reach a state of mindlessness we want to stretch further to a point of “no mind” or mindlessness. This is the purest state of flow. Moreover, that journey, from mindfulness to mindlessness needs stretch.
Working At Meditation!
Simultaneously, I also worked hard at meditation. Really, this is funny to me when I think of it now. I started in my early twenties and I found it incredibly difficult to clear my mind. In fact, the moment I closed my eyes and instructed my mind to think of nothing, a million thoughts pushed against my forehead to distract me.
Indeed, they were inane thoughts, futile thoughts. “Had I turned the iron off, would I be able to do it this time, did I eat breakfast, is the door locked, why does the front door squeak, are bananas really bad for you, how will that meeting go, that plane is so loud, when did I last eat fruit? If I chose to lie down, will I just fall asleep?”
So, had I had a mindful experience? Who knows, but I felt a bit better – I think! Whether it was the endless monologue or the inadvertent sleeping, this was not the way to master meditation for me. I decided to change track. Guided meditation was the way forward.
Guided Meditation – An Easier Path For Me
With guided meditation I had the chance to focus on what the guider was saying rather than my thoughts. I found it easier. After working through the work of guides such as Dorothy Chitty, Philip Purman and Deepak Chopra I began to realise that I could connect without their words.
Even though it took a little longer, and I had to be aware of my environment and my frame of mind, through their guidance I was learning to find my own stillness of mind. All by myself. It was exhilarating!
Of course, we’re not just learning something separate to ourselves when we learn new skills. We’re learning more about how our minds and body work. Actually, we’re learning to drive ourselves and the relationship we have with the ideas and tasks we try to integrate with our being. In fact, we begin to identify how we have to shift or compromise to allow that integration to happen. Indeed, we’re making friends with our minds: and we might as well since it’s with us for a very long time.
Meditation Is Found Through Many Doors
The funny thing is that much later in life, I realised that any kind of repetitive activity, whether it’s a run, dancing your socks off or mopping a floor, is in fact a form of meditation. It really is that easy. Moreover, it’s no mystery that some of our best ideas come to us when we’re washing our hair in the shower!
Seemingly, when we do something we’ve disciplined our body to do, without conscious analysis, we have the opportunity to meditate. In fact, that something could even be taking a moment to watch the beauty of a butterfly, bird or playing with your cat or dog. Before, for some reason, I’d chosen to make it so complicated.
We Can Discipline Ourselves Towards Mindfulness
When Nathan Algren had practised the art of the sword to such a degree that his body knew how to make the moves, he could fully engage with his mind. Another reminder that if we want to be mindful of anything, it’s better to prepare our unconscious mind for it. Hence, this is why we’re told that conscientious people have more success and less stress. They’re giving themselves the opportunity to be in the present moment all the time because they prepare for it. In fact, they train for mindfulness and, as that training continues, they transition to mindlessness.
Lessons From The Doers In History
Perhaps Mother Teresa had it right when she said “There should be less talk; a preaching point is not a meeting point. What do you do then? Take a broom and clean someone’s house. That says enough.” I take this to mean that if we spend less time thinking or preaching about it and we actually just do it, we allow the energy of mindfulness to flow. Ghandi echoes this with his famous quote “Be the change you want to see in the world.”
Mindfulness is Everywhere in The East
A couple of days ago I was chatting with a Doctor in Korea who specialises in helping people live a healthy life and lose weight. He owns a Pharmacy and from this he offers coaching, medical advice and Chinese herbs to people who visit. As we were chatting, he expressed to me quite frankly that he does not subscribe to the philosophy of Western Medicine.
So what is it that aligns him so strongly with Chinese Medicine? “Because a healthy perspective requires an active approach and ongoing and purposeful direction our lifestyle. To be healthy you should have an active mind (or awareness) with regard to the environment, food, your mind and your body. You should exercise your body and take an active approach to changing habits and behaviours, especially the choice to eat vegetables and fruits. We should always be aware of stiffness in our body since stiffness prevents the free flow of energy through our meridiens. Western Medicine allows a passive approach and minimises self-awareness.”
Clearly, body mindfulness is important. Indeed, it may provide another key to finding balance, joy, success and happiness.
How can mindfulness turn into mindlessness?
And just when I thought I’d mastered the art of the physical in my particular style of yoga, in the 20:20 vision of hindsight, I realised that it had become routine, something to do, almost mindless. However, this kind of mindless benefits from growth stimulation in other areas. We want to maintain growth and challenge to encourage more zero thought moments.
Moving From Mindfulness To Mindlessness Needs Stretch
Otherwise, as the challenge decreases, so does engagement. Interestingly, as my engagement decreased in yoga, so did the joy in my experience. Actually, the same happens to us when we’ve can’t see development in our careers or when we can’t see the opportunity for growth in our relationships. Seemingly, we want more. We find ways to blame it on the partners or the job or the company we work for. Often it’s just that we’ve grown and we can’t see a way to grow further within a particular environment. We feel stuck.
Where something becomes mindless, we are open to receive from deep within. However, we want to find the balance so as to keep growing. We constantly want to be in cycles of growth and expansion in order to have a balance of the new and the mindless in our world.
Moreover, moving from mindfulness to mindlessness requires us to understand the purpose behind our actions. In fact, the stretch is finding the zero thought point whilst holding the experience of the purpose in every cell of our being. That is to say, mindfulness to mindlessness needs stretching towards an intention or purpose.
Passion And Dedication Leads To Mindfulness And Beyond To Mindlessness
One of my recent training clients sent me an email this last week to express frustration about the fact he still didn’t know the techniques by heart and that he still didn’t have some of the information that he wanted at his fingertips. He had just started the process of coaching his first client.
Interestingly enough, this frustration was creating significant motivation in his behaviour and he hadn’t noticed the many positive aspects of that. When we’re passionate and we’re raring to get going. Actually, we’re passionately motivated to learn and do so much. Additionally, that’s a motivation towards mindfulness: to become adept at the practical elements so that we can really flow.
When we know and can deliver the practical elements so well, we then need another stretch to remain engaged. Why? Because our minds are designed for development and evolution. We are meant to expand and grow.
Actually, we’re changing and growing every day since our environment changes every day. Hence, working out how we do,be or have X in our ever-changing environment is always bringing us closer to mindfulness.
Making Friends With Our Minds
The more we make friends with our minds and get to know how we react in different situations, the more we can afford to stretch ourselves. We have confidence in our ability to deal with whatever comes our way. Moreover, we can release our focus from the ‘what ifs’ and insecurities that all too often accompany starting something new or changing some aspect of our environment.
And there it was in front of me. It has been there for more than a decade and yet I hadn’t read it for about 5 years. “Flow – The Psychology of Optimal Experience” by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi.
A Stimulating Book - Flow by Csikszentmihalyi
This wonderful book reminds us that the point of flow or mindfulness is to be found somewhere on the road from learning to unconscious competence, and with continual stretch. He states “both boredom and anxiety are useful negative states as they create motivation to get us back into the flow state.”
What’s more, he states that even though different people gain joy from doing different things, “optimal experience, and the psychological conditions that make it possible seem to be the same world over.”
Csikszentmihalyi goes on to say that many social conditions can inhibit flow. “One of the consequences of slavery, oppression, exploitation and the destruction of cultural values is the elimination of enjoyment.” Offering a sound argument to refuse to accept any of these conditions, for anyone on the planet.
Aside from anything else, if we consider the words of Emmerson (left), it gives an interesting perspective on whether simplifying one’s life paves the way to a mindful existence. Consequently, can we move to mindfulness?
Therefore, as living expenses skyrocket around the world, and as we’re encouraged by shiny adverts to buy more and more, are we just creating another barrier to long term, sustainable happiness?
What do you think?
Find Out More About Working With Me
If you’d like to find out more about coaching with me, or if you’d like to arrange a call to see if we’re a good fit for one another, please send me an email to sarah@sarahmerron.com.
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