Embracing the power of self-leadership is developing the ability to take control of your own life and make decisions that lead to more happiness and success. However, many people resist self-leadership, often due to fear or a lack of confidence. In this post, we’ll explore what self-leadership is, why we resist it, and how to overcome those barriers to achieve our goals.
What Is Self-Leadership?
Self-leadership is the ability to take control of your own life and make decisions that lead to success. It involves setting goals, making plans, and taking action to achieve those goals.
Self-leadership also involves taking responsibility for your own actions and holding yourself accountable for your successes and failures. It requires self-awareness, self-motivation, and self-discipline. Ultimately, self-leadership is about taking ownership of your life and becoming the best version of yourself.
To summarise the power of self-leadership in bullet points, it is:
- Self-direction
- Self-insight
- Self-care and self-nurture
- Self-governance
- Self-management
- Self-control
- Self-empowerment and self-motivation
- Self-determination
- Self-reliance
- Self-discipline
- Self-regulation.
Why Do We Resist Embracing The Power of Self-leadership?
There are many reasons why people resist self-leadership. The most common reason is fear of failure or fear of success. People may also resist self-leadership because they feel overwhelmed or unsure of where to start. Additionally, some people may have a negative self-image or lack confidence in their abilities, which can make it difficult to take control of their own lives. Overcoming resistance to self-leadership requires self-reflection, a willingness to take risks, and a commitment to personal growth.
We also want to consider our life-long training. On some level, we may have a belief that satisfaction, motivation or external results are a result of some external force, guiding our life as if we have a pre-programmed destiny. Many of us have also grown up in environments where we’re measured by external factors and then graded or categorised. For example, “you performed in this percentile and as a result you can only do this.” The idea that we can take control of our own learning, belief system and performance from within this mindset is alien.
5 Main Reasons We Are Reluctant To Step Into Self-Leadership
Even more unhelpful, we may imagine that our satisfaction or achievement lies in the hands of others. As a result, we place our power outside of ourselves by putting our actions on hold and waiting to be ‘given’ what we think we deserve.
In order to stop resisting self-leadership we have to reframe this belief and learn to appreciate that everything comes from inside us, whether that’s happiness, peace, love, motivation, discipline, achievement or resilience. We don’t need someone else to get us where we want to go.
Taking responsibility for everything that happens in our lives can feel uncomfortable, since life is a flow of highs and lows, quiet times and chaos.
1. Fear of failure: If we don’t engage, we can’t fail. We also can’t succeed. Interestingly, many of us are afraid to succeed as we imagine the continual commitment and pressure to maintain success.
2. Lack of self-awareness: If we’re not fully aware of our own thoughts, feelings, and behavioural patterns, we may not recognise the ways in which we contribute to our own circumstances. What’s more, it’s always more comfortable to blame an external factor or person.
3. Learned helplessness: The idea that whatever we do doesn’t make a difference. It’s an illusion. In fact, much of this mirage is founded in society and the indoctrination of belief in higher power that ultimately decides.
4. External focus of control: We imagine our lives are primarily controlled by external factors. Life happens to, rather than with me.
The more stress or chaos we encounter, the more this feeling grows. We can’t control life, so we can direct our reaction to it.
5. Lack of confidence: We doubt our own abilities and feel overwhelmed by the challenges we face. The modern world has separated families and minimised family support systems. We have less emotional and logistical support in our daily lives and this can exacerbate feelings of isolation, overwhelm, and the idea that we’re not good enough to do what we have to do. We are. When we can see our lives from a higher perspective, we can expand our belief framework to appreciate all the times we’ve been successful.
How To Overcome Resistance To Self-Leadership: Start With Why?
Overcoming resistance to self-leadership requires a combination of self-reflection and action. Start by identifying the reasons why you may be resisting self-leadership.
Are you afraid of failure or success?
Do you lack confidence in your abilities?
Do you carry feelings of shame or being undeserving?
In your mind, are you or are you not in control of your own life?
Does the thought of doing it all by yourself feel isolating or scary?
Or perhaps you keep repeating patterns of self-sabotage and have absolutely no idea why. Once you have identified the root cause of your resistance, take action to address it.
If you can’t seem to find it, you may want to seek support in coaching or therapy.
Cultivating Self-Leadership With Neurolinguistic Programming Techniques
With Neuro-linguistic Programming we take the ’emotions first’ approach since they tend to be the most impactful barrier to change. Then we begin to understand values around leadership and self-leadership and this process helps us to identify any restrictions or limitations in belief frameworks. We then use a variety of language techniques to explore the relationship we have with self-leadership. Here’s one you can try out while you’re reading this.
1. In your mind, what would happen if you took responsibility for everything in your life and felt empowered?
2. What would not happen if you take full responsibility and trust you can impact your values, beliefs and behaviours?
3. How does it look, sound, or feel when you question what would happen if you don’t choose to take responsibility or you can’t impact everything? What would that mean and how would it impact you?
4. And finally, what wouldn’t happen if you didn’t take ownership of every aspect of your life?
You’ll appreciate these questions are generic and they may still give you some powerful insight into your current stance on self-leadership.
The next step is to expand your belief frame beyond any limitations and restrictions by addressing any beliefs that do not align with your desired outcome. It’s a process and it takes time and trust to dive deep into your unconscious mind. Appreciating that our conscious mind (what we want) and our unconscious mind (what we do) can create inconsistency in performance and unexpected outcomes.
Once the mind is clear, we work on setting achievable goals, and practising self-care to build your confidence and resilience.
Remember, self-leadership is a journey, and it takes time and effort to develop the skills and mindset needed to achieve success. When we have a bad day, we want to get back on the horse immediately!
The Benefits & Real Power of Self-Leadership
Self-leadership is a powerful tool for achieving success in all areas of life. By taking control of your thoughts, emotions, and actions, you can overcome obstacles, build resilience, and achieve your goals.
Self-leadership also helps you to develop a sense of purpose and direction, which can improve your overall well-being and satisfaction with life.
Every time you turn your attention to the positive impact you have on yourself and your circumstances, you develop more confidence and trust. This, in turn, results in even more motivation to get increasing satisfaction from long term goals rather than instantly-gratifying short term gain.
Additionally, self-leadership can enhance your relationships with others, as you become more confident and assertive in your interactions.
Overall, the benefits of self-leadership are numerous and far-reaching, making it a valuable skill to cultivate. When you approach it with patience and self-compassion you’re crafting your life’s masterpiece one step at a time, and in a self-sustaining way.
Tips For Practicing Self-Leadership
Practicing self-leadership can be challenging, especially if you are used to relying on external sources of motivation and direction. You’ve got to commit and go all-in! Think of any discomfort as butterflies of anticipation in the stomach and be bold in your approach.
However, there are several tips that can help you develop this important skill. First, set clear goals and priorities for yourself, and create a plan (mapping out the small steps) for achieving them. This will help you stay focused and motivated, even when faced with obstacles or distractions. Also remember to celebrate the small wins along the way.
Second, practice self-awareness by regularly reflecting on your thoughts, emotions, and behaviours. This will help you identify areas where you could make change or test different approaches.
Finally, cultivate a growth mindset by embracing challenges and viewing failures as feedback, giving opportunities for learning and growth, and more guidance to plot your next course of action. With this approach, a supportive mindset, and a group of positive people around you, you can overcome resistance and achieve success through self-leadership.
Imagine how empowered you can feel if you embrace the challenge of constantly leveling-up your self-leadership. Believe in yourself and step into the power of self-leadership, you’ll create a paradigm shift in your experience when you do.
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