Learning Stories By Sarah Merron - Challenging Perspectives: Don't Get Toad Away With The Tide
We are comprised of our values, beliefs and thoughts. What many of us never think about is the information we were fed as a child. We rarely question the profound meanings of fairy tales, stories told to us by family or our societal beliefs. This learning story: “Challenging Perspectives – Don’t Get Toad Away With The Tide” is a useful tool to use with clients who could benefit from questioning some of their deep-rooted beliefs and associations.
Whether you choose to embed this ‘Challenging Perspectives’ metaphor within NLP training or use it in isolation, allow the client to absorb the information in their own space and time. You can even use it as a bedtime story for your children.
To Release A Curse Is To Free Your Mind
She was a middle-aged woman when she met the Shaman. She was withered from hard work, and yet her eyes were sharp with confidence and capability.
The Shaman looked deep into her soul and in a slightly surprised tone asked “Why have you come to see me sister?”
“I’ve come to release a very old curse, laid upon me as a young teenager. I’m tired and I’m ready to release the fight. A young man I met recently suggested you could help me to free my energy. He told me you could help me find peace.”
The Shaman was still for a moment. Grounded in the Earth while his mind flew high above, as if to gain a broader perspective of the situation.
A Deep-Rooted Idea
Suddenly he said, “Have you suffered in this life, sister?” To which she responded, “I have been plagued by this curse. I have experienced fortune and misfortune, joy and sorrow. However, this shadow has forever been in my mind.”
He smiled at her compassionately, as if a sudden dawning had come over him. “Tell me about your life sister, I want to know what ails you. I’m interested to discover what prevents you from seeing your peaceful existence in this life and beyond.”
The woman sat down and began to talk about her childhood. “My mother died when I was a young girl. I come from a large family, including me and my seven brothers. My father re-married soon after my mother died. My step-mother was a working woman who had no interest in children. She sent my brothers to military school and I was shipped off to boarding school. My father found it difficult to engage with us emotionally after my mother died and he seemed to vanish off into a haze of self-contemplation.”
An Idea Extended From A Myth
Life Is Not Always What We Think It Is
“One summer, when I was fourteen, I returned home. My father had begun his journey back to life, even though he only really left his study for meals and church. One day we were having dinner and he looked at me and told me what a beautiful young woman I was becoming. He told me how much I reminded him of my mother. That evening, my stepmother announced she had drawn me a bath and I should go and relax.
When I stepped into the bath, I realised it was full of toads, splashing around in the not so warm water. I screamed and when I turned my stepmother was there. She picked up three of the toads and showed them to me saying “this toad is to remind you that you can be as stupid as a toad, this toad is to remind you that you can always be as ugly as a toad, and this one is for you to know the evil-temper of a toad exists always inside you.”
“From that moment on, I knew that she had cursed me in some way with her hateful thoughts and her use of such a negative symbol. I know that toads are evil, maybe even demonic. I’ve struggled against this energy all my life.”
How Do You Know?
The Shaman breathed in deeply, fascinated by her story. On his exhale he asked “how do you know the toad is evil?”
“Isn’t it obvious? Toads are always the bad-guys in fairy tales, the converse of beauty, these warty creatures living in the damp and dark. And her words, her words allowed me to know that she knew these toads had magical and wicked powers.” The Shaman smiled.
I Can Overcome Anything With My Mind
“So, from that moment on I knew that I had to use my mind to overcome this curse. I had to be pure of heart, I had to make the most of every opportunity and I had to be beautiful on the inside. I have worked and worked and worked at this all my life and I have been lucky enough to mostly overcome her curse. Fortunately, I run a million dollar business and I have been a good wife and mother. I have worked at it every single day and now I’m tired. Now, it’s time to relax. Please, I want to release this curse so that I can stop and find peace in my mind and in my life. I will pay you anything you want.”
It's All About Challenging Perspectives
The Shaman looked at her for a while. Then he said, “it’s not about money sister, it’s about challenging perspectives.”
The woman was momentarily shocked. “I know my life, I know what happened and I know what I’ve done. I just want your help to release this ridiculous curse. Can you help me or not?”
The Shaman smiled again, reminded of someone long ago who had expressed herself in exactly the same way. “I’m going to take you on a journey” he said. Handing her a half coconut and instructing her to drink it up. She found herself feeling nauseous, her head spinning violently. Then suddenly, she was travelling in her mind. Like an eagle soaring high in the sky she could see everything that she had accomplished. She could see her family, safe and happy; her business and her incredible work team. She smiled to herself, proud of her achievements.
A Surprising Twist of Fate
Next, she found herself floating above the shaman and a woman in the clearing she had just left. Was it her? No, the woman was younger, about ten years younger. She flew closer so she could see more clearly and as she did she took a sharp intake of breath. There, sitting with Shaman was her stepmother, just as she was when she had first met her. She listened with interest as she heard the woman speak.
“I need your help” said her step mother. “This man has lost all interest in his children since we married. “In fact, the man I met has lost all interest in everything. He barely works, he barely gets out of bed. I knew he would still be grieving when we married, and yet I did not realise it could get worse” she said with great sadness.
“So, you want me to help your new husband?”
Surprising Compassion
“No brother” she said. “I want you to help me rescue those children. They lost their mother only two years ago. The boys are in military school and I think they’ll be ok. It’s the girl that I want to protect. She’s a sensitive soul and I want to give her the best possible start in life. I’m worried that she’ll never recover from the sadness in her childhood. What’s more, I’m a business woman, a successful one at that, and yet I’ve not experience of motherhood. I don’t believe I can give her what she needs.”
The shaman stared deeply into the heart of the woman sat in front of him. Prickly, matter of fact, determined, powerful and yet all masking a profound sense of love for this man and compassion for his children. “You’ll have to wait a few years he said. Then you can teach her what you know.”
What Do I Have That Is Valuable?
“And what do I possibly know to help this poor young girl? I know only business and what she needs is maternal love.”
“How do you know?” asked the Shaman quietly. “You know business, which means you understand motivation, and this suggests you know just a little bit about creation. You have many talents and skills to share. And you’ll need the power of the toad, sister.”
“What? I hate toads. I can’t work with the girl and toads! She’s a child. She’ll be terrified! This is ridiculous! Can you help me or not! If this is about money, I can pay you whatever you want!”
The Shaman glanced upwards to notice the bird on the branch above them, shocked into stillness. He smiled as the bird became aware of the cycle of life, death and rebirth. He smiled as the bird slowly took in the situation below. “And what are the most valuable lessons you’ve learned that have made you so successful in business, sister?”
The Power of Metaphor In Challenging Perspectives
The woman thought for a moment. Then she spoke with command and clarity. “I know that it is my responsibility to ask questions. There are no stupid questions, but it’s stupid not to ask questions if you have them. Stupidity can hold us back.”
“Good, what else?” asked the Shaman.
“I know that a successful business woman relies on her brains and not her beauty. And finally, I know that I give away my power when I lose my temper. I know that maintaining my equilibrium is my most creative state. All of these things have contributed to my success. But I still don’t know why on earth I need to embrace this toad concept!”
“What if she hates me? What if I push her away with this teaching?”
“If your stepdaughter learns these lessons from you, can she create a life of love, joy and success?”
The Wonders of Mr Toad - Challenging Perspectives
“Let me tell you about the wonders of the toad.” said the Shaman quietly, still aware of the bird statue sitting on the branch above.
“Actually, toads symbolise fertility and abundance. They are both naturally and symbolically deeply connected with earth and water, two of the essential matters for all life. They represent harmony and balance in life. Moreover, Toads are powerful Feng Shui symbols of fortune, prosperity, fertility and abundance.
It is only your culture that has turned you against toads. Go beyond and see the bigger picture and you’ll understand their mastery.
In China, toads are regarded as lunar, “yin” and humid symbols, used medicinally and bringers of much-needed rain. Furthermore, in dry regions of Mexico and Africa, toads are also celebrated for their rain-attracting qualities. Additionally, the Ancient Egyptian Book of Symbols states “The squatting birth position of a woman, when her legs are widely parted, bears a striking resemblance to that of a frog.”
Therefore, I ask again. What is it you have against the frog? Do you want your daughter to have these qualities in her life?”
To which she responded “Thank you brother, I have learned many things here today. Peace be with us all.”
Expanding Our Mindset Brings Us Home
Opening her eyes through the thick fog in her head, she once again saw the Shaman sitting in front of her.
“I must apologise to my stepmother” was the first thing out of her mouth.
“You want to see your stepmother to give her thanks and praise her bravery. You are not responsible for her choices.” said the Shaman.
Challenging perspectives had created an expansion in her mindset that was so profound it could not be expressed in words.
“Thank you”, said the woman “peace is now with all of us and I am reborn.” On the way to her stepmother’s house, every few minutes she noticed the symbols of toads surrounding her.
Finally, she realised as the old woman opened her front door. Abundance comes in many forms, and mostly we meet it through love.
Find Out More About Working With Me
To find out more about coaching with me, or if you’d like to arrange a call to see if we’re a good fit for one another, please send me an email to sarah@sarahmerron.com.
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